Pain Kept Inside

Life is what you make out of it. It can be fun. It can be hard. Whatever you want. I choose depressed. Why? Don't know. Just was. I had a rare and very bad cell in my blood. I needed treatment ASAP. From office to office to hospital to hospital, things just got worse. I would faint alot. I would bleed from my nose alot. No one would know of my situation except my parents. I covered up for everything. Not my siblings, not my friends would know. NO ONE!!! I wasn't ready to be some pity case. NO WAY!!! So when I planed for no one to know that's the way it was going to be! Days go by with nobody knowing my pain. The pain built up in me emotionally. My folks were calm but that's the way they were always. They respect the fact that I didn't want them to tell anyone. And so it was. I missed a couple days in Yeshiva here and there but no one noticed anything diff. I knew i had to speak to someone. But who???? What happened next was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Two weeks into the month of November on a Tuesday my Rebbe was giving Sheir. As usual i was spacing out, thinking about my fate. He finished and everyone left the room. My Rebbe asked to have a few words with me....... (TO BE CONTINUED)

The Appointment

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be famous? I never wanted to know. I always tried to stay far away from the spotlight. It's funy, the things you don't want you always get.
I walked into room #5. Why i still remeber it was room 5 i don't know. After a couple of min the doctor came in and did the basic tests. "Last time in.......let's see.......... about a years right?"
"uh hu"I nodded. I hate Doctors. I hate Doctor offices. Maybe that's why I get all nervous when I walk in. I can hardly speak a full sentince in one. After some pokes and feeling around he said "I'm a little concerned about ......."(NOT GOING INTO DETAIL AT THIS MOMENT). Concern! I hate that word. What happened ever with the word "problem". Did they say "Houston, we are a little concerned" ? No! I think it went, "Houston, we have a problem..!" I did the follow up app. and nothing went well. ....TO BE CONTINUED

The Begining

I'm normal. Thats what I always tell myself. I like going out and doing stuff with my friends. I like taking risks. I also enjoy doing crazy things. Some might say, I have guts. In other words..... your regular teenager. One night I had a dream. I would say I was 16 years at the time. I remember it like it was yesterday. An older fellow with a long beard came over to me. He did not look happy. He started to wave his finger at me. He spoke very very quiet. I bearly heard him say "I will make you suffer!" What?! I woke up! Gee, another one of those weird dreams, I thought. Next night the same. Weird. Huh? My life at the time was pretty much a routine. Got up. Got Dressed. Went to Yeshiva. Came home at night. Went to Sleep. What could go wrong? Hell, I was sooooooo wrong....... I had no clue what was in store for me! To be Continued...

Well here it is... all of it

How do I explain this. Well let's see..... I just turned 20 last month. Thank you, Thank you! I look like your typical kid but do I have a story to tell. I plan on updating this blog often and convay it all. I never told anyone the Real story. My goal here is to teach one lesson. I could be anyone!!!! I could be your best friend. But you don't know my story yet. Bluntly: Judge everyone with favor. You just don't know what they go through every day...